I also donвЂ™t want to necessarily write commercial stuff. Probably because my voice is constantly changing. I also have my trilogy The Manicheans which has been on the front and back burners for yearsвЂ¦ Rewritten countless times, itвЂ™s way harder to write comedy than dwell on depressing garbage all day long by the way, and I still havenвЂ™t found my voice. I have ideas about roller derby, and my alter ego Kiki Reynolds and her adventures. So where am I now with my writing since my life does not suck anymore? Well, I want to write funny stuff. I wouldnвЂ™t say it saved me from myself, because I hit my bottom anyway, but it did the trick for a while.

I hated my life honestly, so fantasy was a good escape for me at the time. Because let me tell you the truth: I lived through my characters more than I lived my own life. I donвЂ™t need them to save me from myself. My characters and my plots donвЂ™t feel the same when my life is good. I, first hand, donвЂ™t want to sit down for hours at my computer anymore and write, and edit, and write and edit, but sitting down is not even the issue. I noticed it with my own process, and the stories I crafted and am still in the process of crafting. Happiness does not fuel the creative process the same way. And itвЂ™s not an exaggeration to say many poets and authors were tortured individuals, and they created masterpieces because of their misery. I deeply believed pain was necessary for me to create anything worthwhile. I disconnected myself from the community, and continued my writing journey away from Twitter and social media platforms in general. Then life got better, and my writing lost its spice. I used Twitter a lot, built a following and joined a community of writers and like minded creators and felt at home for a while. My craft was not perfect by all means, but the message went across and many people identified. I started writing heavily in 2010 while I was going through a shit storm of everything and anything that can make your life hell, and I used this heartache to fuel my stories. This song made me then ponder about my own writing and creative process.

ThereвЂ™s no glitz, no glamour, no extra bright lights. The pain she felt has become a vessel for her inspiration, and you can tell, by listening to the lyrics, that she remained true to herself. All the hardship sheвЂ™s been through made her transcend herself. When you listen to this song, you can really feel it to your bones she speaks from the heart, and sings with so much emotion. So today is a snow day but I still made my way into the City this morning and on my commute, listened to a beautiful song by the (in)famous Ke$ha called вЂњPrayingвЂќ.

Thought train creative